Just Live

Just think we are living our child hood now. When we were twelve and looked at pictures of us at six the attitude and spirits in each were the same. They had an innocent feel to them. This is the biggest thing, when you looked at them did you laugh? That goofy innocence of a person's smiles fades, as they grow older. You may not realize it in the moment but look at your folk's pictures. The difference in their smile is noticeable; they were more stiff and fake. It could be the fact that with age comes stress. The stress of love. The stress of money. The stress of aging. The harsh realities of life hit you hard, overwhelm you. One or two bumps or burdens come your way, and it’s a bad day once in a while. Then you wake up one day and just realized you’re not a kid anymore. Those years you can never relive, the best years of you’re life. The years where you didn’t have to worry about anything. You got to spend days running around outside playing tag and capture the flag. Those days are over. Here comes bills and taxes and whatever other legal obligations we’re required to fulfill. 

I wasn’t even going to right about this tonight. I almost submitted some bullshit about love and friendship. But tonight one of my best friends, a girl I have come to love and trust found out she would not be able to play any more volleyball this year. Yeah it’s just volleyball, but it’s really not JUST volleyball. It’s her last season of volleyball ever in high school. The last game of volleyball as an innocent spirit.  With girls she will probably never see again. When she had finished practice and go home to her family, her mom, dad, and siblings. This is the last time any of us will get to do this.  Go back to the comfort of our home. This is the last year we’ll have this feeling. Although due to economic issues we all may end up living back at home after college, the walk through the front door will never be the same. That feeling of safety and security from having memories surrounding you. Soon that feeling will change. It’s going to be a constant weight; and every time you walk in more pounds will be added. But I will not follow the same path. I think these feelings are those of suffocation. So why don’t we all get off our asses and live? That’s what I am doing. I hope to see every nook and cranny of this earth. The good and the bad because how do we know what’s good if we don’t have bad? There’s beauty in bad, and that is to make you realize just how beautiful life is. I vow to never lose that same energetic goofy smile. I will be that crazy Aunt in my family.  The one that wears the funky clothes and half the time no one really knows what she is saying but is just as happy as she is because of the look in her eye and the laughter at her own jokes.

I guess today is just one of those days where you realize that the joyful and innocent years of high school are ending, and although there were definitely hard times there are much harder ones to come. “But ya gotta keep ya head up,” as the wise 2Pac would say. Enjoy the year you live because no moment can be rewound and lived again, don’t lose that smile, and just live life.